April 21, 2014

Thoughts from Mark

10 Worst Reasons to Get Married

1. “I love him.”

We use the word “love” where words and phrases like “appreciate”, “feel sorry for”, “have feelings for”, “really like” are more the truth. People were designed to love ALL people. We were made to become ONE, with one.

2. “I can change him.”

No, you can’t. You can manipulate him, demand him, convince him, but you cannot change him. Most ladies marry a man believing he will change. Most men marry a woman believing she won’t. Marry what you see, not what you hope.

3. “It’s God’s will.”

He knows it’s not good for you to be alone. There’s worse – being united with someone who makes you wish you were. We have assigned God’s voice to our feelings, our exuberance and our dreams. He’s so gracious that He rarely argues.

4. “She takes care of me.”

So does your mom. As important as this is, being treated well is not a deciding factor in who you should marry. Kids want to be taken care of. Maturity wants to care, lead, initiate and create.

5. “I’m getting older.”

We all are. This is a decision that impacts the direction, location and condition of the rest of your life. This is a choice where quality always trumps quantity. It’s worth the wait.

6. “…before he finds someone else.”

In that statement, you realize he’s one who keeps his options open. You don’t marry someone who sees you as the best opportunity at the moment. Marry the one who sees YOU. Only you.

7. “She told me to.”

And welcome to the rest of your life. Enough said.

8. “He will provide well.”

Society makes much of money. It is a tempting lure but a cold and unresponsive partner. Marry the person, not what they can do.

9. “She makes me happy.”

No one can make you feel anything. YOU feel. The same one who makes you happy now has the ability to make you miserable later. First, BE happy. Then, marry.

10. “The sex is great.”

Sure it is. I love dessert. When I choose to eat it first, I don’t enjoy my meal nearly as much. Sex is a reward – a prize for the one who journeyed to the depths of your heart. Award the trophy before the race starts and many will give up in the middle.

11. “Mom and dad love her.”

They will see her on weekends and holidays. You will do life with her every day. Parents are to raise you up to choose well, not choose for you.Honor them, seek their advice, and pray.  YOU decide. They bless.