May 5, 2014

Thoughts from Mark

8 Lies We Believe About Sex

1. Sex will bring us closer together

Sex is the RESULT of intimacy, not the creation of it. [pullquote position=”right”]It is usually insecurity that leads to sex as a means of intimacy. Using it to feel close will lead to greater insecurity and lack of trust.[/pullquote]

2. Sex is the result of physical attraction

No, it’s not. If it were, you would have sex with everyone you were attracted to. Some do just that and their lives are awful. It’s not nearly that cheap. It is to be the result of a noble and committed pursuit of the heart.

3. Beauty = Sexy

Not necessarily. Sexy is the result of confidence, security and a firm grasp of your femininity or masculinity. Attitude and demeanor can ruin a striking package as much as it can enhance an ordinary one.

4. Hurry up because the best sex is while you’re young

Ask any happily married person. As crazy and “gross” as it sounds to a young person, sex gets better with intimacy and maturity. It really does.

5. Sex sells

Sex was never to be a lure, an initiator, an entrance. It is meant to be found in the heart – the deep places – after a worthy quest. Never buy what sex is selling. It’s not a salesman. It’s a prize.

6. Sex isn’t that big of a deal

[pullquote position=”right”]Making love is the one event in the human experience when body, soul and spirit are all joined. An act indelibly marking the soul, creating a connection we carry with us the rest of our lives.[/pullquote] No other exchange has that impact. It is VERY important and worth the highest esteem.

7. Sex is about me feeling good

As unromantic as it sounds, sex is first a means of multiplication. Yes, in the way of reproducing people. But also increasing your partner – in their worth and enjoyment of the fullest range of the human experience. The best sex is found in a context of service.

8. Have sex with whoever you want

Do that and you share with many what was meant for one. If you had a prize of infinite worth no one else had, you would protect it, sharing only with one who you could completely trust. Your body is that prize. The more you carelessly fling about your precious gift, the less valuable it becomes.